Self-Care: when, why, & what

“Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.” - bell hooks

Life is filled with demands on attention and energy. Paradoxically, the sheer amount of incoming information, for example, alerts, advertisements, and text messages can minimize the experience of genuinely and authentically connecting with yourself and others. The simplicity of turning on a sprinkler and running through the water in mushy, wet grass, laughing while trying not to biff it—one of my favorite childhood activities—sometimes seems like a distant, yet vividly joyful memory.

It may seem difficult to make time for self-care. But you can make time and redirect your energy and attention to what really matters. And, only you get to define what really matters to you.

For more information about the physiological benefits of self-care, learn from Dima Abou Chaaban's TED Talk: "Re-train Your Brain with Self-Care." Depending on the type of self-care you choose, self-care can help balance hormones, decrease chronic inflammation, improve concentration, compassion, energy, homeostasis, long-term planning, motivation, mood, and resilience, and increase "happy" neurotransmitters like dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin.

Writing and/or Thought Prompts to Spark Your Creative Brain Juices

What were your favorite activities to do in youth? Some ideas—play dress up, use a Lite Brite or Etch-a-Sketch, attempt or master a handstand, sing karaoke out of your bedroom window to the birds and neighbors, cannonball into a pool, bake, draw imaginary characters, or travel to new places.

When do you feel most authentic, at ease, calm, peaceful, energized, excited, mindful, or loved?

Are there things getting in the way of your goal for self-care? If so, what?

What feelings do you want to achieve through self-care practices?

Ideas for Self-Care Activities

• Attend an event—activism, concert, comedy, drag show, food sampling, speed dating.

• Buy yourself flowers, or create a floral arrangement with wild flowers, sticks, etc.

• Create a list of everything that does or used to spark joy—activities, colors, drinks, food, locations, music, scents, seasons, and sounds.

• Create a scavenger hunt from A – Z.

• Create a time capsule.

• Create a vision board. Dream big!

• Design something in real life or electronically—a character, garden, jewelry, room, shoe, outfit, or website.

• Do something you’re afraid to do. Sky diving? Talking to a stranger?

• Engage in a spiritual practice.

• Give yourself a massage or schedule one.

• Go to a local coffee shop or community center and browse their community event or resource boards.

• Go on a walk in your neighborhood or a natural trail.

• Invest in your well-being. For example, schedule: acupuncture, a facial, a health care appointment, mindfulness coaching, or personal training.

• Journal any and every thought or idea that comes to mind.

• Learn a new skill. Have you wanted to try baking, basketball, gardening, jazz dance, mountain biking, painting, photography, scrapbooking, sculpting, or soccer? Do it! In youth, many of us tried new activities in classes or with loved ones. For some, grades and competition*dampened the joy of engaging in a new activity. *If you’re interested, google Festinger’s social comparison theory.

• Learn about something you know nothing or little about. Do you want to learn about abnormal psychology, architecture, climate change, earth worms, evolution, financial planning, a language, metaphysics, modern art, naturopathic herbs, or rocks? See what piques your interest and follow it.

• Learn about your family history.

• Make a bucket list.

• Make a leaf or plant collection.

• Meditate. YouTube and Spotify have free meditations, or join a meditation group.

• Move your body.

• Organize something—book shelf, junk drawer, or pile of paperwork.

• Play with your pets or visit someone’s.

• Practice a random act of kindness.

• Purchase that accessory, clothing item, or piece of equipment you’ve been wanting.

• Read books, listen to podcasts, or watch TED Talks about self-compassion. Check out Brené Brown and Tara Brach.

• Set boundaries.

• Sun bathe

• Take a bath. Fun tip: zest it up with bath bombs, citrus, herbs, or oils!

• Try a new hair or nail color.

• Try a puzzle—Sudoku, MENSA, crossword, word search, etc.

• Use Meetup or a friend app to join an activity group, or create your own special interest group.

• Visit a public library or museum.

• Write a love letter to yourself.

• Write or draw about your purpose, beliefs, values, feelings, fears, hopes, random thoughts.

Remember, you are worthy of cultivating and participating in self-care!

With compassion and peace,

Hope Doucet, LMSW